Kiss Me Again
by Ren Seragaki
Summary: "You're more than a friend, I knew it from the first sight" One night changed how they felt about each other. Their surprisingly odd behavior reveals some things that were never intended to be said and makes them do things they thought they would never do. Seeking advicee from their friends was how they knew it all. Story inspired by We Are In The Crowd's "Kiss Me Again" ShiZaya
1. Something I've been thinking off

_Hey guys! I'm back from the dead and I present to you my first Durarara! fanfic! Actually, I already became obssessed over ShiZaya before I even watched it. Anyways, this fic was inspired by a song I heard when I do my monthly Song Hunt on YT._

"talking"  
[Celty typing]  
'thinking'

_Disclaimer: Durarara! does not belong to me, it belongs to its rightful owner. I mean, let's face it, I would be making Shizuo and Izaya gay for each other if I owned it. Song used for the idea also does not belong to me, it belongs to We Are In The Crowd. Cover also not owned by me._

_Enjoy!_

* * *

**Something I've Been Thinking Of**

* * *

~ShiZaya~

Ever wondered how Shizuo Hewajima managed to become good friends with Celty Sturluson, besides already knowing Shinra? It was quite simple; they had one thing in common. They were known as monsters in Ikebukuro. Shizuo, with his short-fused anger, and Celty, with her headless body and her shadows became close friends when they realised what they shared in common. It was only natural that they often talk to one another to calm their nerves. It was also common for them to share their problems. However, Celty had not expected Shizuo to tell her something that seemed very personal.

As usual, they were having a conversation with each other. It was around midnight and Shizuo happened to encounter the dulluhan when she had finished a job. They sat at by the fountain in the park, watching as very few people walked the streets. Celty was telling the ex-bartender about how her client was so curious to even try taking off her helmet himself. Shizuo managed a small chuckle, sensing that Celty felt a bit flustered from that. However, the blond found himself unable to concentrate on the biker's story.

Shizuo had not been feeling like himself for the past three days. He felt much more restless than usual. His anger during his jobs seemed more forced. He could hardly concentrate on something for even just a moment. Why in the world did he not feel like himself?

[Shizuo? Are you alright?] Celty waved her PDA in front of Shizuo's face to earn back his attention.

Shizuo blinked for a few times before muttering a small apology for ignoring her story. Celty, however, was not bothered by that. True, even the blond daydreamed but the look on his face clearly expressed that he was depressed about something.

[Is something bothering you Shizuo?] The dulluhan asked, her words expressing her worry.

Shizuo knew that something was bothering him, he just did not know what it was. He found himself unconsciously avoiding all the couples he saw for the past three days. Something about it made the blond feel like he was missing something.

A couple then walked by his line of sight. They were holding hands and the girl was smiling sweetly to the boy. Shizuo found himself staring at the couple. Noticing that the blond's attention was elsewhere, Celty looked to what her friend was distracted by.

'A couple?' she thought, staring at her friend's expression.

That was when she noticed that Shizuo looked envious. If Celty had a head, she would look surprised, seeing that the ex-bartender almost never made that face. Why would Shizuo be envious of a couple?

Then, it clicked.

[Shizuo, are you lovesick?] the dulluhan asked, tapping his shoulder to gain his attention.

Shizuo stared at the sentence for awhile. Normally, he would have been angered by something like this but instead, he found himself chuckling. That could be the reason why he was not feeling like himself, could it not?

"Maybe..." the ex-bartender sighed, a sad smile gracing his lips.

The response shocked the biker even further. Suddenly, she remembered that a certain informant had been in Ikebukuro for the past three days but there were no signs of vending machines or street signs being thrown. Could there possibly be a connection between Shizuo's lovesick behaviour and Izaya's inactiveness?

[Are you worried that no one will like you in that way?] she asked tilting her helmet to the side.

"Probably. I mean, almost everyone is scared of me. Even you and Shinra are scared of me sometimes," Shizuo told her, taking out a cigarette placing it in between his lips.

[I won't deny that but there definitely has to be someone who isn't scared of you at all, except Kasuka.] Celty encouraged, hoping that her friend would not worry too much on the matter.

"How can you be so sure?" the blond asked, lighting his cigarette while looking at Celty with a raised eyebrow.

[Take me for example. Even though so many people are scared of me because I'm headless, Shinra still loves me.]

Reading the text made Shizuo smile a bit more, feeling encouraged.

"Thanks Celty. That really helps," he told her, taking a long drag from his cancer stick.

[I'm your friend. What do you expect? ]

Shizuo laughed at that. Of course Celty is his friend. Friends are there to help you and possibly offer advice of any sorts.

"Okay, I guess I should head back," he told her looking up into the dark sky.

[Me too or Shinra will start to get worried.]

Saying their goodnights, they headed their own separate ways.

Shizuo, however, did not feel like going back to his apartment just yet. He felt like wandering around for awhile just to clear his thoughts. His feet ended up dragging him to a small bar, not the one he used to work at. It was secluded and no one else was there, except for the bartender. Shizuo did not know what possessed him to come to a place like this. He knew that he could not handle his alcohol well and he could get drunk from half a cup of a strong drink. Since he was here though, he might as well rest for a bit. Even a bar is bound to have water.

Shrugging, he entered the bar, creating a soft bell noise, and sat near the counter. He folded his arms over the counter and rested his head on them, looking to the side. The lights were dim and the furniture was nothing fancy. The bartender, who was cleaning a glass, turned to face the customer and asked what he wanted to drink.

"Just water," Shizuo answered plainly, not even bothering to look at the bartender's face.

Once the bartender saw the blond, his grip on the glass started to tighten. However, he kept his composure and went to get the drink. The bartender was someone who Shizuo had beaten up before for some unknown reasons. The bartender wanted revenge on the blond but he knew that he could not possibly win against someone with such monstrous strength in a fight. He did not know how much alcohol Shizuo can tolerate but it was worth a try to get the blond drunk. The bartender hoped that the "monster's" strength would be as strong as a regular human's when he got drunk.

Grinning evilly, the bartender served the strongest drink he had to Shizuo. The blond lifted up his head and began to down the contents of the glass, completely unaware of the odd taste. In that short moment, the glass was empty as it was placed back down onto the counter.

That was when he felt his vision starting to blur. He started to feel dizzy and drowsy. He tried to stay awake but he knew that he could not fight it. The bastard must have given him alcohol instead! He tried to get a good glimpse of the bartender so he could remember to kill the bastard next time but all he saw were a mesh of colours. Finally, he succumbed to the alcohol and passed out, head resting against the counter.

The bartender started to chuckle like a maniac and grabbed the nearest glass bottle, not caring if it was filled with expensive alcohol or not. Holding it by the mouth with both hands, he held it above his head. The bottle began heading to Shizuo's head until-

"I wouldn't do that if I were you."

That voice seemed to have stopped time. The bottle was just a hairbreadth away from coming into contact with the unconscious blond's head. Sweat started to dribble down to the bartender's chin. He recognised that voice. It belonged to the person who knew most about Shizuo, the one who wanted to be the only one who knew most about Shizuo.

The bartender was caught red-handed by the informant, Izaya Orihara.

Izaya stood at the entrance of the bar, hands in his coat's pockets. His eyes pierced into the bartender. Even though the informant had his usual trademark smirk plastered on his face, the bartender could tell that he was not pleased.

"I'll give you ten seconds to get out of here," the raven head threatened, his hand ready to withdraw his knife.

After hearing that, the bartender tossed the bottle to the side and ran out of the bar, getting as far away from Izaya as possible.

Once he left, Izaya made his way to sit next to the unconscious blond. Having a lot of information on Shizuo, Izaya knew that his enemy was a light-weight, thus the reason he avoided alcohol. Judging by the recent events that could have taken place a moment ago, he could easily assume that it was not Shizuo's intention to drink alcohol. However, it was definitely not like the blond to even go in a bar just to drink water. Something must have been bothering the ex-bartender to end up in a place like that.

Izaya examined Shizuo's face. He appeared to be distressed about something. The informant had been too busy for the past three days to even examine him, so he had no clue about what could possibly been bothering him.

He hated Shizuo. He hated him the most but why was he not taking the opportunity to kill him? Every time they saw each other, all they did was try to kill the other, so why was he not going to kill him? It could be possible that he might miss all their cat-and-mouse chases since they gave him so much adrenaline and excitement if he killed Shizuo.

But was that really all there was to it? Even Izaya himself did not know.

Izaya took off Shizuo's shades, placing them beside him. The very action confused Izaya. Why did he do that? However, when he did that, the blond started to stir and his eyes fluttered open. The raven head waited for a reaction from the bodyguard.

"Has Izaya ever been scared of me?" Shizuo asked no one in particular, not moving from his current position.

Izaya definitely did not expect Shizuo to say that. Maybe Shizuo was still drunk and did not realise that Izaya was beside him.

"Celty said that someone who isn't scared of me might be my special someone..." the blond muttered.

The red-eyed informant blinked in surprise at this. What could that possibly mean?

"I must be delusional, thinking that Izaya could like me," the blond continued to rant, still unaware of the extra company.

Izaya was confused for once. He could not understand Shizuo even more when he was drunk.

"Izaya hates me, doesn't he?" the ex-bartender asked no one, eyes drooping.

With that, he went back to dreamland.

That was too unexpected for Izaya. He was confused by Shizuo. He ended up confusing himself even further when he asked himself the same question the blond muttered.

"I hate Shizu-chan, don't I?"

Izaya never expected to hear those things from Shizuo. He also did not expect his life to change from that one night.

* * *

_R&R if you want but if you do review, please refrain from posting any criticizem that is too harsh._

_Thanks for reading!_


	2. I can't wait to lay around with you

_A bit shorter than the previous chapter but I could not resist! The fluff bunnies invaded my room and they would keep on farting in my room if I did not post the next chapter! Plus, the first review was so nice that I just had to post this! _

_remembering  
_'thinking'  
"talking"  
[Celty typing]

_Disclaimer from before still applies here._

* * *

**I Can't Wait To Lay Around With You**

* * *

~ShiZaya~

He kept on staring at him. He knew that he was always fascinated by his strength but he never found himself to be fascinated by his features. Izaya knew that something was wrong ever since he entered the bar. He was facing an inner debate; what should he do now? Should he leave Shizuo as he is, kill him or help him?

The informant felt like scoffing at that thought. Why did he even think of helping his enemy? Leaving the bodyguard as he was was one thing but actually helping him out is another. Izaya should feel like killing his enemy but instead he felt only worry. Why would he be worried about the blond? The more he stared at Shizuo's face, the more he felt like helping him. It confused him. Why would anyone help out someone they hate? Pity, maybe?

The raven head ran a hand through his hair, frustrated by his inner turmoil. He tried to find a reason for him to help Shizuo that had nothing to do with caring or pitying the blond. What was it he always told those who wanted information on the ex-bartender? He remembered that only he could know about Shizuo. Maybe if he 'helped' him, he could learn more about him. That's right, he was just curious to know more about the Hewajima.

Feeling satisfied with the reason he found, he let a small smile grace his lips as he got up from his seat. Placing an arm underneath the blond's legs and another behind his back, Izaya lifted him from his seat. Shizuo stirred a bit but other than that, he was still out cold. The red-eyed informant started to make his way out. Before he left, he scanned the streets for anyone who could still be wandering the streets. Seeing no one around, he started to walk to Shizuo's apartment, glad to be able to keep his pride. It was not strange for Izaya to know something like where Shizuo stayed since he was an informant.

As he made his way to the blond's living quarters, he felt something moving on his chest. Surprised by that, he looked down only to be surprised further. Shizuo almost appeared to be snuggling into Izaya's chest. The informant frowned at this. The ex-bartender was acting too human to his liking. Izaya loved humans and Shizuo Hewajima was definitely _not_ a human, he was a monster. Shizuo had to be a monster. If Shizuo was a human then...

Izaya shook his head to get rid of his 'disturbing' thoughts and continued to walk. What was wrong with him, thinking of such unnatural things like that? Maybe he was just tired, especially after not being able to get much sleep during the tedious three-day-long job.

* * *

Standing in front of his enemy's apartment, Izaya still had Shizuo in his arms. Carefully, he bent his knees so that his hands could reach the floor. Scanning underneath the doormat, the informant found the key to the blond's apartment. Slowly, he stood back up and attempted to unlock the door. To his relief, it opened without much effort.

Walking to the bedroom, being mindful not to hit Shizuo against any of the walls, he placed the sleeping bodyguard onto his bed. After he did that, he sat on the bedside, looking at the blond's sleeping face.

"Shizu-chan looks so human..." Izaya muttered sadly to himself.

That night, Izaya wished he had not seen Shizuo acting so human-like. It just confused him to no end. His feelings kept on conflicting with each other. If Shizuo was a monster, he hated him. If Shizuo was a human, should he like him, like his other humans?

'What if he's in between?' was the question that the informant thought off, shocking even himself.

How could that even be possible? Shizuo could only be one, not both. However, if Shizuo was neither a human nor monster, what should he feel for the blond? All the inner turmoil made the informant's head spin. This was the kind of information he hated, the type that he could not understand, the one that made him confused.

Shaking his head to dismiss all his thoughts once again, Izaya took a look at the bodyguard again. For some odd reason, his hand was drawn to his enemy's hair. With a nonchalant expression, the raven head ran his hand through Shizuo's hair. Even when he dyed his hair, the blond's hair was still smooth. Izaya soon felt addicted to that feeling. He continued to comb his hand through the sleeping blond's hair.

Shizuo would definitely get frustrated over something small like this. Maybe that was the reason the red-eyed informant felt addicted to the feeling. It felt so foreign to do something like this to the short-fused bodyguard. To be able to do something like this to his enemy without getting yelled at or chased around pleased Izaya in a way.

When Shizuo leaned into the raven head's hand, he started to feel butterflies in his stomach. The whole night had been so foreign to him, so unexpected. That's exactly why Izaya hated the blond, his actions were unpredictable. Maybe that was also why Izaya was also entertained by him easily.

The ex-bartender started to shiver, causing the informant to raise an eyebrow. Looking around the bed, he could not find a blanket, making him click his tongue in annoyance. He stood back up, about to search for the room heater when suddenly...

The lights and the fan turned off.

If Izaya never groaned in irritation, now would be a good time to. Something must have cut off the electrical power. He looked back to where Shizuo was sleeping and squinted to see the blond.

He was shivering a lot. Izaya wanted to look away but he found himself unable to. Shizuo looked too human that it was unbearable. The informant also found himself to be cold. He clearly remembered how to keep warm when there were no supplies that could provide warmth.

Share body heat or, putting it plainly, cuddle.

The raven head sighed in irritation once again. He was only going to 'cuddle' with his enemy only because it benefitted himself. He made his way to the bed and lied down on it next to Shizuo. He noticed that the blond was still shivering despite feeling warmer. Making a small note to regain back his pride next time, he wrapped his arms around his waist, burying his face into his chest.

This time, Shizuo stopped shivering completely.

Why was he doing this? Izaya was acting too out of character. He hoped that he and Shizuo would forget about that night's events and what the aftermath might be.

* * *

If there was one thing that could describe what Shizuo felt at the moment, it was comfortable. He could not remember his bed ever feeling so comfortable in all his years in Ikebukuro. Even though he smelled something that stunk, it still felt comfortable.

Realising something, Shizuo's eyes shot open. He clearly remembered passing out at a bar he did not know that name to. Had someone else been there to help him? For a moment, a flash of a certain 'flea's' face came to his mind. He had hoped he had done nothing ridiculous when he was drunk.

Why should he worry about the details? He was sure that it was a Sunday, meaning that there was no work. Plus, he was in bliss.

Like hell he would not worry about the details. Everything had a reason and the blond wanted to know why he was in his bedroom with absolutely to harm being done to his body. When he shifted around the bed a bit, something around his waist tightened, causing him to raise an eyebrow. When the bodyguard looked down, his eyes widened a fraction.

Cuddling Shizuo in his bed was Izaya Orihara.

The ex-bartender knew that he should probably be shouting at the top of his lungs or at least be flipping a table but something about the scene made his mind race back to the conversation he had with his close friend.

_[Are you worried that no one will like you in that way?]_

The image of the text Celty typed to him suddenly appeared in his mind. Maybe that was why Shizuo was not trying to kill Izaya at that very moment. The scene made a grateful smile grace his lips. The gesture of Izaya 'caring' for him pleased him. Even if it was possibly not the informant's intention to imply something like that, it still made the blond happy.

Izaya looked quite peaceful, sleeping in that way. Instead of the smug looks he normally showed people, he had a soft look on his face. Even though the raven head claimed to be more superior to his humans, he was just as human as them. He was probably human enough to bring Shizuo back home, even if it could possibly be for his own benefits.

However, he still wanted to know what could simply possess Izaya to even bother helping him. The flea did not act like himself, which was the one thing Shizuo could confirm without any evidence.

Suddenly, the bodyguard recalled that he had not seen the raven head for the past three days, the days that he acted out of character.

_[Shizuo, are you lovesick?]_

He acted lovesick for three days, from Celty's suspicions. Was there a connection between that and the informant's inactiveness?

Even he did not know.

Normally, he would frustrated if he could not even sort out his own thoughts but since he had been out of character lately, he found himself to be interested to know more about his own problem.

The very thought made him chuckle. He felt like Izaya for a moment.

Speaking of Izaya, why did it seem like he forced himself to call Shizuo a monster lately? Was it because he wanted a reason to hate him? Sometimes, the informant confuses both himself and the blond.

Feeling that he should probably be getting up by now, he sat up and gently removed Izaya's hands from his waist. Looking down at the innocent-looking raven head, Shizuo unconsciously brushed back the bangs covering Izaya's face.

"Thanks flea," he muttered softly, smiling softly.

He received no response.

* * *

_R&R if you want to but refrain from posting any criticizem that seems to harsh_

_Thanks for reading!~_


	3. Been awhile since I've felt butterflies

_Let's just say that I was kind of stuck while writing this chapter. I had trouble writing this 'cuz... Let's face it, I never experienced romance, so I don't really know how scenes like these go.  
Also, I'm just updating early 'cuz I had nothing else to do. Plus, the fluff bunnies invaded my room again...  
And since the reviewers are so nice, I decided to answer their reviews! (Note: I like to read long reviews 8D)_

**_Lolita Rafane- _**_That sentence! Izaya just does not want to like Shizuo. too bad for him. And of course, anyone can tell that they're both acting too OOC!_

**_Cookie Addiction- _**_I never knew this fic could give people cavities 8D_

**_alwaysblu-_**_ Thx! And cuddling always make everything fluffier than cotton candy~_

**_Misachin- _**_I'm glad you find it interesting! And of course, I'll update whenever I can._

**_Link (guest)- _**_Yes he does!_

**_sea07-_**_Well, this chapter is what happens! :3 Oh , and look! I updated! XD_

**_Nana Three Hundred- _**_It's exciting?! Wait, how do I even make this stuff when my life is boring? And look no further!_

**_Patriciaveee- _**_I'm glad you love it! ^^ And, as always, I'll update whenever I can._

"talking"  
'thinking'

_Disclaimer from before still applies here._

* * *

**Been Awhile Since I've Felt Butterflies**

* * *

~ShiZaya~

Cold; that was what Izaya felt like when he started to awaken.

The bed felt so much warmer when he went to sleep but now, it seemed cold and empty. The informant found himself missing whatever that provided him with the warmth and company.

Remembering the events that took place before he slept, Izaya slapped his hand onto his face, attempting to block out any misleading thoughts. That was right, he had slept together with Shizuo. It was odd but the raven head found himself to be rather sad and depressed without the blond next to him.

'I must be going crazy,' Izaya thought to himself, realising how unnatural his thoughts were.

He sat up straight from his position, rubbing his eyes to get rid of any remaining sleepiness. It was then he noticed something different, other than the lack of comfort on the bed. He was no longer wearing his coat but instead, it was on his upper body, as if to become a makeshift blanket.

'Strange...' the informant thought as he brought his coat to his face.

He did not remember ever taking off any articles of clothing, plus he never did anything in his sleep. That only left one option and even he knew that that fact could not be avoided. Shizuo must have placed his coat around him, hoping that he would not feel cold. As much as Izaya wanted to deny it, it was the only possible reason for it. He did not like all the confusion building up in him. The blond was acting more and more like a human.

For some odd reason, the informant started to sniff his coat. It did not smell like him only, it smelled like Shizuo as well. Izaya started to get addicted to the new smell of his coat. This was the first time he managed to get very close to the bodyguard for the longest time possible. There were so many thing that the raven head tried that Shizuo would never let him do. He found two new things that he was addicted to; the feel of the blond's hair and his scent. However, as much as he enjoyed them, he was still confused.

Why had he managed to sleep peacefully? The bodyguard should at least have shouted after seeing Izaya with him. Somehow, the red-eyed informant felt at ease. At least he was not the only one that was not feeling like they should.

Suddenly, the smell of food invaded his senses, causing his stomach to grumble lightly.

'I guess even the monster feels morning hunger,' Izaya told himself, getting off the bed.

* * *

"What am I doing..." was the first thing that came to Shizuo's mind after he realised the amount he cooked for breakfast.

It was your usual bacon and eggs but he found himself making two plates of it. He never intended to cook or even have breakfast together with Izaya. Maybe he was trying something different, like being civil with the other. When he looked at his plate, he felt satisfied but when he took a look at the informant's plate, it seemed like something was missing. What could possibly be missing? The blond looked through his fridge, hoping that he would somehow realise what was missing from Izaya's plate.

The sight of ootoro packed nicely in a container caught his eye. He remembered Tom giving it to him, saying that he should try Simon's improved recipe for it. Once Shizuo left it in the refrigerator, he completely forgot about it, until now.

If memory served him right, he remembered Mairu telling him that her brother's favourite food was ootoro. She even showed him a picture of his refrigerator, which was full of ootoro. The sight was actually quite scary for Shizuo, wondering how a person like Izaya managed to live off just ootoro. As much as the ex-bartender loved his milk and sweets, his fridge had a variety of foodstuff inside.

Taking the container out from the fridge, the bodyguard opened it and placed two pieces of the sushi onto the informant's plate. Looking at the outcome somehow made Shizuo feel more satisfied.

Suddenly, something clicked in his mind.

A scenario like this was very common among couples, was it not? The very thought made the blond's cheeks turn a faint pink. Why was he acting like this? Maybe his conversation with Celty had a greater impact on him than he anticipated. Maybe Shizuo really wanted to find a person who could like him in that way.

Izaya was the only one who more-or-less was not scared of him but the informant hated him. How could Izaya possibly end up liking him?

"You've staring at the food for quite awhile."

Hearing the voice of the informant he was just thinking off, Shizuo blinked and looked to his side. The raven head was leaning against the door frame, both hands inside his coat's pockets as he stared at the blond. They stayed like that for awhile, staring at each other, as if trying to convey a message.

'He's acting strange,' was what went through both of their heads as they kept their eye contact.

Finding the situation at the moment quite awkward, Izaya looked at the food that Shizuo prepared. What could be so interesting about it that the bodyguard needed to keep his eyes on it? When he saw what was on one of the plates, he raised an eyebrow.

"How did you know that I like ootoro?" the informant questioned, looking back at the ex-bartender.

Snapping out of his trance, Shizuo looked back at Izaya's plate. "Your sisters told me."

"Is that so..."

"Yeah..."

Yet again, silence filled the atmosphere, causing the blond to sigh in frustration. This was just to unnerving to his liking.

"Why?" Izaya asked, making Shizuo look at him with a blank face. "Why have you been acting so human?"

Had he? True, he had not been acting like his regular short-fused self but even he knew that there was something wrong with the person who asked him the question.

"You're one to talk; not even calling me 'Shizu-chan' yet," the ex-bartender retorted, "Not even beast or protozoan."

The retort visibly shocked Izaya. Had he been that easy to read?

"You're quite easy to read like that," the blond continued, as if reading the informant's mind.

Izaya continued to stare in shock. This Shizuo was much more unpredictable than the one he always fought with.

"If you want to eat, come to the dining room," the blond told him, taking the two plates of food with him as he left the kitchen, leaving Izaya to stand like a dumbstruck fool.

Just from those words, the raven head started to feel butterflies in his stomach. Shizuo took the effort to make breakfast for him? The blond would never do anything that showed that he cared for him.

He clicked his tongue in annoyance.

'Stop acting like a human Shizu-chan,' he thought with a scowl.

* * *

Shizuo brought the food to the dining room, placing his plate on his side and Izaya's on the other. Taking a seat, he picked up his fork, about to touch his food until he realised that it would be a bit rude to eat without the informant. But why did he care if the raven head ate with him or not?

Not finding an answer to his own question, the bodyguard sighed in irritation, placing his fork back down. He would wait until Izaya sat down at his seat first.

As if on cue, the red-eyed informant entered the room. For a few moments, he stared at the table, then he continued to walk to his seat. Izaya stared at his food for awhile as Shizuo stared at him. The raven head looked so lost, as if he could not comprehend anything that was happening.

Sighing for the umpteenth time, Shizuo said, "Itadakimasu," before eating. He heard Izaya mutter the same thing before he began to eat as well.

While the blond kept his eyes on his food while he ate, the raven head kept his eyes on his enemy while he ate his food. He never knew that Shizuo could stay calm for this long with anyone or himself for that matter. Did the bodyguard always act like this when he was alone? Like a human? That only left Izaya more torn between his feelings. At first, he could easily tell that he hated the blond with all his heart. Now, he had no idea whether he hated him or liked him. He was too absorbed in his thoughts to even notice that he had stopped eating. The topic of his confusion stared at him in worry.

"Are you alright Izaya?" Shizuo asked the daydreaming informant, sounding concerned.

When Izaya looked back at the blond, straight in the eyes, he began to feel butterflies in his stomach once again. Shizuo was actually... worried about him?

'I'm completely fine,' was what the raven head meant to say but instead, it came out as, "I don't know..."

His response made both of them blink in surprise. Izaya slapped a hand over his mouth, silently cursing his slip up. However, he failed to notice that his cheeks were getting red. Instead of Shizuo laughing at his stupid response like he suspected him to, the bodyguard chuckled, meaning something else entirely.

"How funny," he began. Izaya glared at him for causing him to feel embarrassed over something this small. "Even I don't know if I'm alright..."

Izaya did not response. Even he could tell that something was bothering Shizuo.

"I have been feeling depressed for the past three days," the blond admitted. "How about you?" He looked at the informant expectantly.

Should he tell his enemy his problems, even though he himself was unaware of what they actually were? Shizuo might use it against him but he was obviously too 'stupid' to even try, was he not? Izaya figured that if he said something, the answer he was searching would be known. Even if he was going to tell it to the bartender, the informant wanted to know what was bothering himself. Besides, he hated information that was unclear.

"I..." he began and Shizuo leaned forward in anticipation, "I keep on feeling butterflies in my stomach... every time you look at me without any hate."

Once again, they were both surprised. The blond never knew that the raven head could be bothered by something as odd as that. Realising what he had just said, Izaya stood up hastily, making the chair screech.

"Iza-?" the bartender wanted to ask what the raven head meant by that but ended up being interrupted by said person.

"I-I'm sorry! I have to go!" Izaya stammered, ready to run out when suddenly...

Someone grabbed his hand and that could only be Shizuo.

Izaya turned around to look at the blond in shock.

'What am I doing?!' the ex-bartender shouted mentally at himself, not knowing the reason as to why he stopped the informant from leaving.

"Um..." What could he possibly say to not look like a fool? When his gaze found the untouched ootoro on the raven head's plate, he took the plate and gave it to Izaya. Not knowing what else to say, he released his hand and turned away.

"See ya' next time..."

Izaya had to blink for a few times to register what had just occurred. Shizuo had held his hand and gave him his food. Remembering that he was supposed to escape being with the bodyguard any longer, he muttered a soft, "Same to you," before leaving the residence. The soft click of the door indicated that the raven head had left.

Once again, Shizuo sighed. He should talk to Celty about this again.

* * *

_R&R if you want to but please refrain from making any criticizem sound too harsh._

_Thanks for reading!_


	4. You're more than a friend

_Wow... This chapter has more than 2k words... MEH! Sorry for the late update! I was racking my brain for something to write. All your reviews were so nice that I kept on arguing with myself whether I should write or just slack. In the end, I had nothing to do, so I just went back to the computer. The actual reason why this chapter was so hard to write is because I was listening to the wrong mood music...  
Ah, whatever! Review response time! :D_

**_alwaysblu- _**_I would love to answer that but you're just going to have to read this chapter~ 8D_

**_Lolita Rafane- _**_Omigosh... You made me get tears in my eyes while reading your review... No one has ever like my story that much! I feel so happy that you're so into the fic! I felt even happier when you said that you wanted to use my skills as a reference._  
_Don't worry, I also talk to characters as I read. But saying that I gave the "perfect example"? You don't know how happy I am! And honestly, it doesn't bother how me how long your review is._  
_Even though I have already replied to ur review via PM, I'm still going to reply to it on my next chapter! You're the nicest reviewer ever! *cries and hugs you*_  
_(Note: I can be really emotional if I want to. Oh, and read her review too! It's super nyice!)_

**_Nana Three Hundred- _**_Yes, poor confused souls~ And I find having breakfast with all your loved ones very sweet, so maybe that's why I added that scene._

**_Shizu-ruu-_**_I'm glad you like it! And even I'm glad I updated it! :3 _

**_Misachin-_**_Flowers everywhere! And sometimes, I say things that I don't even intend to say, so I tried to use it here._

**emphasized words  
**'thinking'  
"talking"  
_flashback_

_Disclaimer from the first chapter still applies here.  
Oh, and can someone tell me if Psyche and Tsugaru are canon characters? And also Hibaya and Delic?_

* * *

**You're More Than a Friend**

* * *

~ShiZaya~

His heart was pounding. He had **that** feeling in his stomach again. He was breathing harder. He was panting. He was covering his red face.

Izaya stood there, his back to Shizuo's apartment door as he tried to regain his composure. What was wrong with him? Once those words left his lips, he knew that things were going to take a turn to where he might not like it to go.

''Might'? I don't think I can't trust my own thoughts anymore,' the red-eyed male thought.

He already started to feel venerable around Shizuo. He felt like he was just putting up a facade just to give the blond the impression that he hated him. Other than that, why did Shizuo try to stop him from leaving? Izaya only had a brief glimpse of the face the ex-bartender made.

Shizuo looked as lost as Izaya.

The raven head's back started to slide down the door, making him sit down in an awkward manner. He removed the hand covering his face to where his heart was, calming it down. His eyes drifted to the plate his breakfast rested on. It was on the ground but to Izaya's relief, the food was completely fine.

Everything... Everything that happened since he found Shizuo in the bar made him want to scream out in frustration. He definitely needed advice on the whole situation. It was driving him crazy.

Izaya brought the hand which the blond bodyguard grasped close to his face. Why? Why was he missing the feeling of Shizuo's hand? Why was he eager to cuddle Shizuo again? Why was he finding himself to be addicted to Shizuo's scent?

Why was he acting like a lovesick highschool girl?

* * *

Yuuhei Hanejima, also known as Kasuka Hewajima to those who were close to him, was a very busy man, with all the work his acting career was piling up on him. However, that did not mean that he would not bother to spare at least a day to check on his older brother.

Walking through the streets of Ikebukuro with his hair styled differently as a way to disguise himself, he made his way to Shizuo's apartment. Although, he was not expecting his brother's enemy to walk out of the building, looking like a child who could not do a single question on a test. He observed the informant for awhile, checking if he was okay first. However, when Izaya started to bang his head on a nearby wall with so much force that could give any normal person a concussion, his feet moved on their own accord. Even Kasuka knew that the raven head would be laughing up a storm after every encounter with Shizuo, probably from excitement and adrenaline. He could guess that Izaya was in his brother's apartment a few moments ago, since that was the only reason the brunette could think off. The thing that the informant did actually worried him on a certain level. What could have possibly happened between the blond and the raven head that would make the latter act so, unnaturally?

Once the actor was right beside Izaya, the raven head lifted his head away from the wall to stare at Kasuka with a blank look. The brunette just gave the informant his usual poker face but in all honesty, he was creeped out by the amount of blood that dribbled down Izaya's face from his forehead. As if his crimson eyes were not already creepy enough, the red liquid on his face multiplied his creepy level by at least five times.

They stared at each other until Kasuka suddenly said, "You got nervous around Nii-san."

The brunette's tone clearly told the raven head that the actor was stating a fact and not questioning him. Since the brown-eyed male had a lot of experience as an actor, it did not come as a surprise that Kasuka read him like an open book. Shizuo's brother was also the hardest the hardest person to lie to.

What was the point of lying now?

"Do you know why I felt nervous around Shizu-chan?" Izaya asked the actor, hoping that Kasuka's guess would solve his confusion.

Kasuka had to think over the situation for a while. He glanced at the windows of his brother's apartment. They were not broken at all, not even a single scratch. There seemed to be no dents in the walls. From that, he could tell that the two did not fight with each other. The mystery as to why the informant was even in the blond's living quarters was still unknown to him. However, putting that fact aside, something must have happened to make Izaya so defenceless and red.

The brunette squinted his eyes in realisation as he stared at the apartment, even if it was not visible to anyone. The informants face was red in two ways; the blood and the blush on his face. Never in Kasuka's life had he seen someone like the raven head **blush**. Perhaps he had not noticed the blush due to all the blood. Speaking of blood...

The actor took out a handkerchief from his shirt pocket and held it out to Izaya. The red-eyed male seemed to have gazed at the piece of cloth before taking it, nodding his head in thanks. The brunette watched as Izaya cleared all the blood off of his face. Once that was done, Kasuka managed to confirm that Izaya was indeed blushing. Perhaps he was still thinking of his brother.

In this case, he knew the truth might hurt Izaya but if no one told him his problem straight in the face, he would just suffer for a longer time. Everyone hated confusion, it just made people's problems messier.

Kasuka made sure that the informant was looking at him straight in the eyes to know that he was completely serious at the moment.

"You fell in love with Nii-san."

Those words stabbed him like the cold truth. But was it really cold? It felt warm; like something good was going to come out from this.

_What if he's in between?_

The memory of what he thought about before falling asleep on Shizuo's bed rang through his head. That's right... What should he feel if Shizuo was a human **and** a monster? Should he like or hate Shizuo? Or... was it something else entirely different than he should feel? But Kasuka already told him what he should be feeling. Knowing the actor, he **never** lied about the facts.

Already telling Izaya what he might have wanted to hear, the brunette turned away and began to walk to his brother's apartment.

"I'm going to visit Nii-san. I won't tell him anything about this," Kasuka assured, not even looking back to see the raven head's reaction.

All Izaya could do was walk back home.

* * *

Pacing around the room was a good way of releasing some pent up stress or anger. Shizuo was doing just that while he thought of the events that had just occurred. He was not sure if he should ask Celty for help again, even if the first time was unintentional. The blond felt that it would be too inconvenient for the dulluhan if she had to handle her job, Shinra and Shizuo's problems. The ex-bartender was definitely an independent person, so depending on someone else seemed unnatural for him to do.

Feeling all his anger suddenly shoot up from the stress his problems caused, the blond went to the nearest table and banged his head onto the surface of it. The poor piece of furniture was unable to handle the strength of the blow, thus it cracked into two pieces, falling onto the wooden floor. The plastic table looked as if it was just waiting for Shizuo to destroy it.

Most of his pent up frustration released, the bodyguard noticed that there were drops of red liquid spilling onto the nice wooden floor. Oh, wait... That's just the blood on his head.

"Shit..." he cursed, thinking of how hard it might be to clean up the mess. "Well, today has been pretty damn weird but I think I might break my glasses if someone would chose to bother me now, considering that I can't even think properly..."

Talking to himself? He must already be out of it.

As if on cue, he heard someone knock on the door. Eyebrow twitching, Shizuo took off his glasses and bent it. Dropping it onto the ground, he stepped on the accessory, producing a loud cracking sound. After finishing up with that, he made his way to the door.

Once at the door, the blond looked through the peephole, just to make sure he did not suddenly let the wrong people into his house. To his surprise, he saw his little brother outside his door with the usual stoic expression. Even though Kasuka had a different hairstyle, Shizuo could easily recognise his brother anywhere.

Quickly fiddling with the door's lock, the bodyguard opened the door to give his brother a friendly greeting. Smiling a bit in acknowledgement, the brunette welcomed himself inside, not that Shizuo minded. Ushering his little brother to sit on the couch in the living room, the spectacled man went to the kitchen to get them drinks.

Kasuka waited for his brother patiently but still kept himself occupied by looking around his elder brother's living space. It was then he noticed one spot in the room which looked like a complete horror compared to rest of the place. Maybe he should not question Shizuo about the broken table, broken glasses and the bloody mess that was in a corner that was not hard to miss.

Coming back into the room, Shizuo passed the brunette a drink as he settled himself next to him.

"So..." the elder tried to start a conversation but his little brother beat him to it.

"I crossed paths with Orihara-san just awhile ago," the brunette began, casually sipping his drink.

"Is that so..." the blond responded, sounding as casual as the actor. He suspected that Izaya and Kasuka might have come across each other since the latter came not too soon after the informant left.

"He banged his head on a wall until it bled," the younger brother continued, even though the other had just spat out his drink from hearing that.

"WHAT?" Even Shizuo had to be worried about something like that. Although, it was quite odd to know that the person giving you a headache was doing the same thing as you to relieve stress.

"He seemed to be very confused, just like you."

That statement stopped Shizuo from asking a ton of questions.

"Nii-san, do you like Orihara-san?" This time Kasuka asked a question since his brother needed a small push before he learned the truth.

"I don't know..." The actor could see that the blond wanted to say more, so he waited.

"I... I just feel like I want to be close to someone who isn't afraid of me at all," the ex-bartender admitted, albeit a bit reluctantly.

Finally, Kasuka's suspicions were confirmed.

"Since Orihara-san isn't afraid of you, you wanted him to be more than a friend, despite never being on good terms with him."

Shizuo just nodded.

It was strange to see his elder brother being so agreeable. It could be possibly due to the fact that he was having this conversation with Kasuka. Perhaps the blond was too naive to even know what was implied when he said 'more than a friend'.

Something told Kasuka that everything was going to turn out perfectly fine. Having been an actor in a countless number of movies, he knew that this story was going to have a happy ending. Izaya and Shizuo clearly liked each other, they were just unaware of the other's feelings. There was no way this was ending in a bad way. However, twists and turns were guaranteed in any story to make it much more exciting.

And besides, Izaya loved to feel excited, did he not?

* * *

_R&R if you want to but please refrain from making any criticizem sound too harsh._

_Thanks for reading! ^^_


	5. Can't deny this feeling any longer

_Hi~ I'm back from the land of the boring and travelled to the land of creativity!~ 8D I thank my two friends for helping me! All I did was ask what was the first thing that came to their minds when they think of ShiZaya. The answers I got were "normal conversation" and "immitation". Now, what could these words possibly mean? :3 You'll have to read to find out! Now, review responding time!_

**_Lolita Rafane- _**_Um... Even I don't know how I do that... :D Unpredictable hmm? That's 'cuz Shizuo is slowly influencing everyone~ And Izaya isn't really the biggest bastard in the world. Get to know him better and you'll soon appreciate him. And about Shizuo slowly falling in love with Izaya, there's a treat at the end! :3 And Kasuka was really my way of potraying how much his acting career pays off. And I know that he is very observant despite being very quite and mysterious._

**_alwaysblu- _**_Hmm... Probably in between so... neutral._

**_KawaiiWuv-_**_ *throws confetti* Welcome! Thank you for reviewing here for the first time! And yes! I'll give you awesome reviewers more!_

**_Misachin- _**_Yes,__ Kasuka is brilliant with his awesome foresight skills! 8D And this will definitely have a happy ending! Glad you're looking forward to this chapter!_

**_DanniBri- _**_*throws more confetti* Hooray for a new reviewer! __Even I can't wait for more. :3 My immagination surprises me. And shounen-ai is so irresistable to write about!_

**_Guest- _**_No one is arguing. Everyone agrees that Kasuka is cool, yes? *evil gleam in eyes*_

_flashback  
_'thinking'  
"talking"

_Disclaimer from the first chapter still applies. Oh, and expect the unexpected~_

* * *

**Can't Deny This Feeling Any Longer**

* * *

~ShiZaya~

It definitely was not easy with all the silence in Shizuo's apartment. He was still trying to piece all the information together, while cooking lunch for him and Kasuka. The first thing he found out about was that he had been lovesick for three days and those were the days of Izaya's inactivity around Ikebukuro. Secondly, the informant had brought him home when the blond had been drunk, despite losing the opportunity to kill him. The raven head had also been acting out of character, just like the bodyguard. How did this all connect together?

Could Shizuo possibly be worried that Izaya did not care about him when the informant did nothing to him for three straight days, even though he had been in Ikebukuro? That could have possibly been the problem but why would the blond even worry about his enemy? Was it the attention he was given? Was it the fact that the informant did not fear him at all? All of these questions piled up in Shizuo's mind.

He tried looking through all the details that he might have missed. The first one was that Izaya hardly spoke at all. The raven head was a real chatter box but it was quite odd too see him so quite. Perhaps he was thinking about something, just like the blond. What he was thinking of, Shizuo had no idea. The second thing that he could have missed was probably the blush on the informant's face when he had asked if he was alright. The bodyguard never knew that Izaya could ever blush. The reaction surprised him at first but he ended up brushing it off.

"_I keep on feeling butterflies in my stomach... every time you look at me without any hate."_

Shizuo definitely did not forget what the younger had told him before he left. Izaya looked like whatever he had just said was a big mistake. Could it be that the informant did not hate him anymore?

Could it be possible that Izaya... likes Shizuo Hewajima, the person he claimed to hate?

'Could I possibly be...' The blond, however, shook his head to prevent his train of thoughts from reaching its station.

All this thinking could wait. He definitely did not want to ruin Kasuka's and his lunch.

* * *

The first thing Izaya did when he went into his apartment, or office, was lie down on his couch. He still felt awfully tired despite having quite a nice sleep, so he closed his eyes.

"What happened to you?"

When the informant reopened his eyes, he was greeted with the sight of his secretary looming over him, her usual annoyed expression on her face.

"Ah, Namie... What do you mean?" he asked in response to her question.

"I thought you were exhausted after that job you had. So why weren't sleeping in your room?" the brown-eyed woman inquired, sounding like a mother lecturing her child.

"I was..." the raven head was about to answer her but held himself back. What good would it do if he told her?

Instead, he chose to change the subject but what could he change it to? Suddenly, an idea popped in his mind. Namie loved her brother, Seiji, right? As weird as it may sound, asking the brunette for love advice seemed like the only thing he could do now.

"Namie," Izaya started, his eyes showing how serious he was at the moment, "how did it feel like to fall in love?"

The secretary was clearly surprised by her employer's change of tone in his voice. However, the question was what gave her a greater shock. What had possessed Izaya Orihara, Ikebukuro's best informant, to ask her such an odd question?

Noticing the brunette's dumbfounded expression, the raven head sighed and proceeded to elaborate, "Did you feel confused, stressed or frustrated?"

Realising that her boss was starting to grow impatient, she answered the question to the very best of her ability.

"None of the above actually. It felt quite normal to me, probably because I'm Seiji-kun sister," Namie answered, still appearing to be quite surprised.

"I see..." Was what the informant said before he rested on his side.

The brunette was completely stunned by Izaya's behaviour. He almost sounded depressed and the brown-eyed woman had never seen him wearing that sort of expression. Most of the time, he was smirking. Namie knew that she probably should not bother her employer anymore but she was curious.

"Do you like someone Orihara?" she asked, making sure to take note of every reaction Izaya made.

Other than flinching from the question, the raven head stayed quiet, pretending like he did not hear his secretary's words.

Taking the silence as a sign, she continued, "How can you like anyone when you claim that you do not hold an attraction for any individual?"

Had he said that before? Maybe he said that because he claimed that he only like humans in general but the blond bothering his mind was completely different. Shizuo was not exactly a human, so that meant that a different set of rules applied to him. Shizuo was not just any individual.

"Heh... The individual who holds my interest isn't exactly a human Namie," he told her, covering his face with his arm.

After hearing that one sentence, the brunette finally managed to connect the dots. Izaya loved Shizuo, the person that he claimed to hate so dearly.

Somehow, Namie wanted to help her boss but she did not know why. Was it because he finally bothered to hold a normal conversation with her or was it because she cared about his well-being? To Namie, all those options were not possible. She just wanted her boss to get his work done and when he was in this condition, there was no way that the informant could do anything. She could tell that the matter greatly bothered the raven head.

The brown-eyed secretary sighed. Her boss was a real pain to take care of.

"Maybe asking that Saika girl might help," she told him, standing up straight to lean on the sofa.

The red-eyed informant lifted his arm away from his face to cast an odd look at the woman. However, she had her back to him.

Realizing that that her employer's silence was probably due to confusion, she proceeded to explain.

"From what you told me before, the girl claims that she can't love anyone. Your situation is quite similar with **him**."

He formed an 'o' shape with his mouth, noticing that his employee was just telling him to ask for advice from Anri Sonahara. However, something bothered him; why would Namie help him, even in this small way of hers?

"Oh yeah, she actually likes Mikado-kun, right?" he inquired.

"I suppose."

Izaya chuckled, quite grateful for his secretary's assistance in his problem.

"Namie, why would you bother helping me?" the informant asked, curious.

"Maybe I was curious about where the conversation was heading or maybe I just wanted you to get your mind straight so you can get your arrogant ass back to work," she answered, being very straight with her answer despite how rude she sounded.

The raven head was not bothered by her choice of words in the slightest.

'Well, she was quite helpful. Maybe I should give her a raise.'

* * *

The dining table was quite and that did no good in helping to ease Shizuo's nerves. When it was silent, the blond could think and honestly, he preferred not to think at the moment. If there was anything he would do to eliminate the deafening silence, it was to try making a conversation with his younger brother. Kasuka looked very calm while eating but the bodyguard was a different case entirely. The blond was not eating at his regular pace. Instead, he was eating very slowly and he looked very troubled. Even though the brunette looked like his attention was solely on his own food, he could tell that the actor must have noticed how stressed he was.

Shizuo felt so selfish. He should treasure the moments with his brother but he already missed Izaya. He wanted the informant to be the one eating with him instead. He knew that he could see the raven head almost every day but being able to be with him in a calm manner was as rare as never. That was, until he and Izaya ate together.

"You're thinking about him."

His brother's voice was what snapped the bodyguard out of his thoughts and back to reality. It appears that he was right when he thought that Kasuka was actually observing him.

"Yeah..."

The sight of his elder brother acting so unlike himself unnerved the brunette on a certain level. He wanted to help, but what could he possibly do? He was just an actor.

Suddenly, an idea formed in the younger's mind. Maybe now was the time to finally put his acting skills to good use, besides providing people with entertainment.

"Nii-san, maybe I can help you with this," he told him, making the blond's eyes light up almost immediately.

"Really? H-How?" Shizuo asked, a hidden sense of excitement in his voice.

"I can role-play Orihara-san."

At first, the bodyguard was doubtful but why should he be? This was Kasuka Hewajima, also known as Yuuhei Hanejima. If anyone could pull it off, it was his little brother. However, there was still one more problem left to solve.

"But how can you look like him?"

Kasuka pondered on the question for a moment until he figured something out.

"Then we'll just have to blindfold you."

At first, Shizuo thought that blindfolding him was crazy. However, when his little brother proceeded to explain that by blindfolding him, he could just picture Izaya being there instead, he ended up agreeing to it.

Taking out a different handkerchief from the one he gave to Izaya, the brunette passed the piece of cloth across the table to his brother. While Shizuo was busy blindfolding himself, the actor explained how his plan worked.

"You can ask 'Izaya' anything. However, you cannot ask 'Izaya' if he likes you. You can voice out your own thoughts but nothing that involves actions."

"I am no longer Kasuka Hewajima. Now, I'm Izaya Orihara."

The bodyguard felt like praising his brother for his flawless acting, especially the voicing, but he reminded himself that this was Izaya now. He had so many questions to ask Izaya but he also needed to remember that Kasuka could not possibly know every little thing about Izaya.

He just settled for voicing out his thoughts.

"The first time I met you, I probably felt like killing you 'cuz I could tell that you pictured yourself as someone superior to everyone else. Your smirk pissed me off. I probably hated you for something stupid and childish. But, when you slashed me across my chest, I realised that you did not fear me at all. As odd as it was, I admired you for being so brave to even try that. At first, I felt that shaking your hand was better than trying to punch you but if I did shake your hand, we would probably be acquaintances, nothing more. Maybe being sworn enemies was not the best thing to do in life but that could be the first step to something new to the both of us.

When I thought about it, you weren't so bad when you didn't try to kill me every time. But when you tried to kill me, I think that I appreciated it somehow. Maybe I liked the attention you gave to me. You might have hated me but in all honesty, I actually admired you. That's why I continued on with your game; without you, I probably would have hated my life, since many people were afraid of me. You're not like other people.

For three days, you had been in Ikebukuro but you did nothing to enrage me. I was worried that you did not bother about me anymore. Celty had said that I could've been lovesick. When I started to piece things together, it finally made sense. I was worried that you did not care about me anymore. I was worried that someone else caught your interest.

Looking back, I know I can't deny this feeling any longer."

Kasuka was beyond surprised. His acting had not been needed at all. His brother, Shizuo Hewajima, had just said something that he thought he would have never said. There was no way anyone could have made all that up. Being too surprised, he failed to notice that the blond had already removed his blindfold.

"Kasuka..."

"Y-Yes?"

"I think I... fell in love with the fle- Izaya..."

* * *

_R&R if you want to but please refrain from making any criticizem sound too harsh._

_Thank you for reading!_


	6. Feel my heartbeat

_Finally got my inspiration back... Btw guys, I'll be doing my homework for the rest of the week since I procrastinated too much for the past three weeks. I'm sorry this took awhile but I was stuck doing chores and homework and revision and projects... Damn it all... On happier note, at least I updated~  
Since school is going to be coming back into my life again, I can't update very often. At most, I'll only be able to update weekly now.  
Okay, review response time!~_

**_Lolita Rafane-_**_ A true reader! Taking your chances just to read! You have my respect. And yeah... Stuff like school is a real jerk. I amaze you in every chapter? Honestly, I amaze myself in every chapter thinking, "How in the world did I come up with this?" I had to read Shizuo's sort-off confession over again so many times to make sure that the details were clear. Plus, he needed to sound human when he said all those stuff since he's talking about his feelings. And I'm glad you loved the previous chapter!~ ^^  
__... I feel so touched that you put in so much effort just to get me to write again... And don't worry about generating romance-ish stuff. I sucked at doing that kind of stuff before I improved._

**_Maru de Kusanagi-_**_ Yes they are!~ Thanks for reading this! ^^ Oh, and... *throws confetti* Welcome New Reviewer-san!_

_**Misachin- **Yes, well done Shizuo! Now show us your progress in this chapter! XD  
_

"talking"  
'thinking'  
_flashback_

_Disclaimer from the first chapter still applies here. Oh, and I suggest you have a piece of cloth beside you to stuff into your mouth later on in the chapter. You don't want neighbours complaining when they here you scream. ^^_

* * *

**Feel My Heartbeat**

* * *

~ShiZaya~

People stared at him anxiously as they passed by him. Why should he bother about them though? They were none of his concern. He stood at Raira Academy's gate, leaning his back against a wall. His hands were in his coat's pockets, his head tilted upwards to face the sky. To think that he would talk to Saika about a small matter such as the one that was bothering him at the moment.

As the school bell rang, indicating the end of school, Izaya watched the students leave from the corner on his eyes. The students ignored him, too immersed in their own conversations to even notice him. As he waited for the girl, he thought about how different his behaviour at the moment was compared to the way he always acted. Rather than smirking almost all the time, he kept on frowning. Normally, he would talk a lot, despite being alone but now, he was so silent. The informant always hated anything that was unpredictable but he was contradicting himself now. He had acted so out of character, so differently that he did not know what he might do next on certain occasions.

All because of Shizuo Hewajima, Izaya Orihara became a love-struck fool.

"Eh? Izaya-san?"

Coming back to reality, he realised that Mikado Ryūgamine and Anri Sonahara were in front of him, confused looks plastered onto their faces.

"I just need to talk to Anri-chan privately," the informant told the two students.

The girl seemed surprised by the way he addressed her in such a familiar way. However, hearing that the red-eyed man needed something from her alone was a different matter entirely. What could he possibly want?

Seeing that both of the teenagers were suspicious, Izaya let out a sigh and assured them, "I just need to talk to her, that's it. She'll be back in one piece once I'm done talking to her."

Feeling no mischievous intent from the man, Anri decided to follow him as he walked away. Before she left his field of vision, she cast a reassuring glance over her shoulder to Mikado.

All the boy could do was wait for his friend to come back.

* * *

Finding a spot with very few people around, Izaya turned around to face Anri, his face showing how serious he was at the moment.

"Anything that we discuss about now is to stay private," the informant told the girl, causing her to raise her eyebrow in confusion.

What could the informant possibly want to discuss with her that made him want to keep it private?

"Well, I guess you can tell just Ryūgamine-kun," was what he said before his trademark smirk slipped onto his face.

"Tell me Sonahara-san, how you manage to love someone when you claim that you can't possibly love anyone?" he asked, bending down to Anri's level just to get a good look of the expression she made.

The very fact that Izaya knew that she liked someone was enough to make her cheeks grow a faint pink. Even though the student knew that the informant had access to most information, it still surprised her when he mentioned that he knew that she possibly liked someone. However, she wanted to play Izaya's game; if he knew everything about her, the least Anri could do was learn why he wanted such odd information.

"Before I ask answer that, can I ask you a question first?" she asked, mustering up the best serious look she could handle.

Izaya was rather reluctant to answer that question. He was totally fine with Kasuka knowing about it since the actor could read him like an open book but letting a girl, who he was barely acquainted with, know about his problem was pretty risky in his opinion. Especially when his problem was about the one who he claimed to 'hate'.

However, wasn't this how his job worked as well? If someone wanted some information from him, there had to be payment, whether it was cash or favours. It was only natural that he had to give Anri 'payment' since he was asking something rather personal from her. Besides, Izaya had information on almost everybody and he would know if the girl would say something about their conversation.

Heaving a sigh, he opted to telling the student why he asked her such a question.

"I feel conflicted. I have no idea if I hate Shizu-chan anymore," Izaya told her, standing up straight and looking to the side, avoiding Anri's stare.

Finally, it clicked in Anri's mind. She remembered that the informant said that he loved all humans before. Shizuo must have acted quite human in front of him, making Izaya wonder if he hates the blond anymore. The problem was quite similar to hers. She, Anri Sonahara, claimed that she could not love anyone on her own. However, when Mikado finally broke out of his shell and confessed his love to her, they started to date. Anri learned that she was too stubborn to even try to love again and Mikado helped her to get over that. Perhaps she could help Izaya in a way, even though he could possibly be the biggest bastard in the world.

"I think I understand Izaya-san," she told him, stopping him from explaining any further, much to his relief.

"You claim to hate Shizuo-san but something made you feel conflicted, probably because he acted very human. You claim that you love humans but you treat Shizuo-san as a 'monster'. Couldn't it possibly be that you just did not want to like him? That you were in denial?" Anri wondered, giving Izaya a questioning look.

Now that Izaya looked back to the first time they met, he thought that Anri's words might be true. When he saw Shizuo take out all those people on his own with such inhuman strength, he admired him. People would give away so many things to have the blond's strength for themselves but the bodyguard hated his strength. When the informant learned about that, he started to hate Shizuo but he still admired him. Izaya thought that the blond was selfish for hating something so useful. He had something great yet he utterly despised it. Many other people would want his strength, whether it might be for good or bad deeds. Why would you hate something that everyone wanted?

However, as the years passed, Izaya started to understand Shizuo a bit more. His strength repelled people away from him, even though he wanted to have more people who were unafraid of him. That was when Izaya came in. When he showed how unafraid he was of the bodyguard, something must have sparked in Shizuo's mind, even the informant could tell. The blond always told Izaya how much he hated him but was that all there was to it? He would never know until he hears Shizuo's side of the story.

Realising that Anri was still waiting for his answer while he was thinking, Izaya answered with a simple, "Most likely."

When he said that, the student started to smile a bit at him, causing him to raise an eyebrow in confusion.

"You're just stubborn about your true feelings, just like I how I was before."

Stubborn; Izaya thought that only his humans possessed this. However, it seemed that he felt 'stubborn' about his own feelings.

"Thanks for the information. You can go back now," he told her before walking off in another direction with his head lowered. 'I should go eat some ootoro to clear my mind.'

Anri smiled at the informants retreating figure, glad that she was able to help. Walking back to where Mikado was waiting, she wondered if she should tell him about the conversation she had with Izaya, since he said that she could discuss it with just Mikado.

No. She should probably just keep it to herself.

* * *

Izaya found himself standing in front of Russian Sushi, listening as Simon advertised his restaurant. When the dark-skinned man saw the raven head standing idly in front of his shop, he went to greet him with a smile.

"Izaya! Hungry for sushi?" the big man asked in his rough Japanese.

"Oh, Simon. Yeah, I guess I'm going to be having some ootoro," the informant told him.

"Okay, I'll go pack some," Simon said, about to dismiss himself to go back into his restaurant until Izaya spoke up again.

"I'll be having it here for today," he told the dark-skinned man, making his way inside.

Simon was a bit puzzled as to why Izaya would want to eat in his restaurant rather than eating his sushi at home. The informant knew that a certain bodyguard normally had his break in Simon's restaurant, so why was he risking it? Could it be that he forgot about it?

Whatever it was, Simon could tell that Izaya was acting differently.

* * *

Shizuo was glad that he was finally able to get back to work, since he had a lot about Izaya weighing on his mind. Beating up some people proved to relief some stress. Tom asked if there was anything wrong but the blond simply said that he just did not get enough sleep. Even though Shizuo had enjoyed his little brother's company the day before, the actor had to leave in the morning. The blond, however, was not that greedy for Kasuka's company. It was already nice enough of him to pay a visit to him.

At the moment, Shizuo and Tom were going to spend their break eating at Russian Sushi. The blond did not see Simon so he suspected that the big man was busy inside the restaurant. Upon entering, the two of them could tell that the cheerful atmosphere inside was wiped out in an instant as they all laid eyes on him. This made the ex-bartender raise an eyebrow in confusion. Most of the people were not bothered by his presence when he entered the restaurant but something else must have been different. However, the only one who did not appear to be scared out of their wits was the girl sitting with Kadota's gang in the corner, Erika Karisawa. Her eyes almost appeared to be glowing in delight. Shizuo decided to ignore her though. Scanning the whole room, his eyes landed on the raven head sitting at the counter, seemingly oblivious to everything around him. That individual kept on eating his food.

Shizuo did not even notice that his boss told him that he was going to sit somewhere else. Why was Izaya eating in Russian Sushi anyway? He normally brought his food back home, did he not?

"_You need to be true to yourself Nii-san. When it comes to liking someone, pride is the first thing you need to get rid of."_

Kasuka's words rung through his head. His little brother had said that to him before leaving. He was right, he needed to face it like a real man and not wait for the problem to solve itself.

As he started to walk to where Izaya was, he could tell that the atmosphere grew tenser with each step he took. Despite already standing next to him, the informant had yet to notice him. Perhaps he was just lost in his own thoughts. Shizuo sighed and took a seat next to him. It seemed that Simon was the only one who was unaffected by the atmosphere, besides Izaya. The big man asked Shizuo what sushi he wanted.

"I'll just have some fish egg sushi."

After he said that, he heard some clattering noise to his right. When he turned to the source of it, he saw Izaya still looking at his plate, chopsticks on his plate while an innocent piece of ootoro was stuck in between his lips. As the raven head slowly registered who was beside him at the moment, he chewed his ootoro very slowly and swallowed its contents as softly as he could but it still sounded too loud.

The silence felt too loud for Shizuo's liking. One would expect him to scream Izaya's name for ten seconds and try punching him or something and somehow, that seemed more comforting than all the silence. Maybe, he should try starting a conversation with the raven head. However, Izaya seemed to have the same idea.

"Izaya."

"Shizuo."

They looked at each other in disbelief, pink tainting their cheeks a bit.

"You go first."

"You go first."

Izaya's blush started to become redder. He wondered why this, which happened in cliché love stories, was happening now. He noticed how many eyes were on them and clicked his tongue in annoyance. This was not something for everyone to watch for their own entertainment. They should have this conversation somewhere else.

"Let's have this conversation outside," the informant told him, standing up from his seat, Shizuo following in suit.

Before they left the restaurant, Shizuo assured Simon that he would come back to pay for the food.

* * *

They stood in an abandoned alley, making sure that no one would disturb them. Izaya was completely clueless as to how he was going to start this conversation. He did not even know what they were going to talk about. He was just worried that his pride was going to go out of the window if anyone witnessed what might happen.

"Hey, Izaya," Shizuo began, startling the raven head for a moment.

"I hated you for so long but at the same time, I admired you. You were unafraid of me, so maybe that's why I admired you. I... I thought you were a pest in my life but know... I just... I don't know anymore Izaya..."

The informant was confused. What was the blond trying to say? His words made no sense whatsoever.

Seeing that Izaya had no clue what he meant by that, the blond took his hand and placed it over his chest, where his heart resided. The raven head's face started to flush again.

"What are you-"

"Feel my heartbeat; it's beating faster than normal."

Just by hearing those words, Izaya finally understood what Shizuo was trying to convey. The blond's action spoke a thousand words to the raven head. It all made sense now. Izaya wanted to thank all the people who helped him through this. He wanted to thank Kasuka, Namie and Anri because all their words to him made him realise what he felt for the blond. Now, Izaya was sure of it.

Shizuo Hewajima was in love with him and he, Izaya Orihara, fell in love with the other too.

* * *

_R&R if you want but please refrain from writing any criticizem that sounds too harsh._

_Thanks for reading~_


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